I’ve had more than a few conversations with folks recently who have said they feel like kindness is going out of the world.
I get that, and I know better than to think that my experience is everyone’s. That said, I don’t believe there is any shortage of kindness. I just think it’s not getting much airtime. If you need a dose, I suggest you come by the White Horse, in the little town of Black Mountain where I live, on any given Tuesday night about 6:30PM.
It’s free, just come on in. You’ll find other folks hanging around, perhaps talking quietly, but mostly listening. And some kids running around.
Down front, on the floor, not the stage, you’ll find maybe a dozen musicians sitting in a circle playing traditional Celtic music. They’re not getting paid, and they’re not competing. They are of various levels of expertise, and they are all supporting each other, playing together for the pure joy of it.
On the occasional Tuesday night, you might even see a long-haired ten-year-old boy unpack a violin and walk toward that circle, and I promise you — I guarantee — that you will not see any sidelong glances from those musicians. No quietly rolled eyes. Instead, you’ll see warm welcome and making room.
And they might let him call the next tune. He might just play Ashokan Farewell, and they might just ease in slowly, not overwhelming him or pulling the pace a bit faster, but gently, gradually, adding a harmony on flute, violin or tin whistle. Norman might add a steady thrum on the bodhran, or Melinda might lay a few guitar chords underneath. And you’d see a young boy under the influence of music, community, and kindness.
You might see him stick around for an hour or so. When he didn’t know the song, you might notice him looking for drone notes he could play along – a place to fit in.
On an occasional Monday night at The Block Off Biltmore, about twenty miles down the road in Asheville, you could stumble into another gathering of community, 5-3-1. Over a couple of hours, there will be five 10-minute stories, loosely gathered around a theme, told mostly by local community members. A musician will share three songs between the stories, and someone might share one way to make the world around you a better place. Or, on that particular night, the ‘one’ might just signify the sense of unity in the room. People listening to each other, feeling the space between them and the very real connection that can be found there when we look and listen for it are more likely to realize that the sense of unity that such events can produce is not an illusion. It’s the more common sense of isolation that is illusory. We are not alone. We just need to be reminded of that sometimes.
These two events are magical, but I mention them not because they are unique, but because they aren’t. Proximity matters. We have different conversations in rooms where we gather and ‘conspire’, which literally means to breathe together. It’s harder to find on screens, because it doesn’t sell very well. But some things really are still free. And they’re not all that hard to find, if we look.
Gatherings like these two, and book clubs, and faith communities, library gatherings and neighborhood pubs and music rooms, and meetings of community activists (defined as people who believe in showing up and trying to make a positive difference), etc. are the stitches that hold the fabric of society together.
Thanks to all the musicians who understand that music is a tool we use to bridge divides and build community. And thanks to the Celtic Jammers at the White Horse for making my son feel so at home. Kindness won’t be gone until the last of us quits trying to be kind. Kindness will be in the world as long as we keep choosing it.
I love hearing about how Mason is developing as a musician. What a fantastic opportunity for him! And for you. Much love to you all.
David, I am a nurse in Williamsport, PA. Your songs and stories inspire me to find exhilarating enthusiasm and compassion for all the people I care for. I challenge myself not to have preconceived ideas or negative misconceptions about people that come into my care. I find kindness is contagious! And the more infected I become, the best person & healthcare provider naturally take the stage. Kindness isn’t dead…it’s just a big ‘ole smile away!
Thank you for your incredible inspiration.
Peace.
Thanks so much, Eric, both for your kind words and for the important work you do each day. Peace to you.
As always, well said, David!
Thanks David!
Thanks for the uplifting message. Will have to arrange to be in Black Mountain on a Monday evening at some point. Pittsboro, NC has a gathering occasionally where people come to share what they are doing and the time limit for each is six minutes if I am remembering correctly. Each speaker can share no more than 12 slides on a powerpoint to go along with their talk. It is an uplifting way to spend an evening. It’s held in a restaurant and the food is excellent. We unfortunately live about 1 1/2 hours from Pittsboro and so rarely get there. By the way, Charlie King one of your fellow folksingers will be in Winston-Salem on Sunday, Nov. 10th, doing a benefit concert for Anthony’s Plot. He’ll be staying in the bed you slept in when you were in W_S for the Beating Guns Tour.
Hi Jack — Sounds great! Yes, some folks do a similar gathering in Asheville with the short talks. Good stuff. And do come see us in Black Mountain sometime (though the Celtic Jam is on Tuesday, not Monday — I wouldn’t want you to sit there alone!). Charlie King does good and important work. Please give him my best, and thanks for putting up all those wandering folksingers and rabble rousers. 🙂 Keep up the good work.
Thank you for the message and the music. Always.
Thank you, Sarah.
Thank you David for your hopefulness. It is hard but I try to see the good even on those bad days….
Thanks for inspiring me to do the same.
David, Thanks once again for beautiful, kind words. I have been talking with my students lately (mostly 5th graders) about how disturbing it is to hear all this hate speech nowadays. More than I ever remember in my 66 years. We have amazing conversations together about respect and learning to live together as brothers (MLK, Jr). We don;t have always agree with each other, we don;t have to like everyone, but we must be respectful. That is one of the rules in my school library: Respect Each Other
So, thank you for reminding me that kindness IS still out there. Kindness is free. Kindness will save us. That is another one of the rules in my school library: Be Kind.
Thanks for that note, Marilyn, and thanks more for the work you do every day with those kids. As the dad of a fifth grader, I am especially grateful that the kids in your library are being exposed to you and your way of looking at the world.
As for their being more hate speech than ever before, maybe. There may be. My own impression, though, is that almost all (though not quite all) of the hate speech I encounter is delivered via screens rather than in real life. That makes me wonder if the problem is more with the screens than with the people. They tend to bring out the worst in us, and they dehumanize, by their very nature. They also have tremendous upsides, but I’m just wondering about how much of this is the message in the medium (with apologies to Marshall McLuhan). My own experience is that when I get stressed out and fearful, the best thing I can do is go be around actual people in a room somewhere, gathered to do something worth doing, whether that’s music, worship, community service, or whatever.
Thanks for giving me more to think about! 🙂
Blessings.
Thank you for this and no David. You are always a bright light.